Tag: self love

Want To REALLY Get To Know Yourself? Live Alone

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Living alone is so liberating. Your home, your rules, your decor, your food… you get the point. If you wanna clean the house naked, blasting music you can. Or if you don’t wanna clean you don’t have to.

I lived by myself for a little over 6 years and I learned A LOT during that time. Not just typical things like how to cook or how plastic grocery bags are perfectly good trash bags. I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted out of life.

When you spend so much time by yourself, you have no choice but to get to know yourself. You spend your free time doing exactly what you want to do when you want to do it. You find many more hobbies and interests that you didn’t know you had. And most importantly, you get comfortable doing all those things by yourself.

I truly feel that once you’re comfortable being by yourself and doing everything by yourself, for yourself, you’re so much more comfortable and confident in any situation, whether it be your career or relationships.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year now and I absolutely love having him to come home to and spend time with. Our “cohabiting” relationship has been successful so far and I attribute it to the fact that he and I both lived alone before we moved in together. Not saying anything negative would happen to our relationship, but we both know if it did, and we had to be back on our own, we would be fine. I know I can easily take care of myself and he can do the same… and that’s what makes our relationship that much better. We WANT to be together, but we don’t need to. I think that is especially important as a woman.

So want to find out who you REALLY are? Just live alone for a while. I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly surprised with what you find out.

3 Style Items That Empower Me

***Guest post by Melissa Jellie from Individually Chic***

As a female, it’s important to me that when I go out, I feel confident. Many of the jobs and fields that I work in are prominently male. My style changes daily based on my mood of the day. Some days I dress in all pink and dresses, while other days I dress more street or punk. Some days it’s a combo of many style! While I’m usually confident, here are three style items that make me feel extra empowered:

 

Shoes

I have a lot of shoes. Probably too many. There are a few pairs of shoes that I own, though, that I rock no matter what the rest of my outfit is.

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My pink Dr. Martens are one of my favorite pairs of shoes that I own. I was on a waitlist for about 2 years just to get the perfect pair of pastel pink boots – which sold out so quickly. These boots are bigger than some of the other boots that I own and I just feel cool when I’m out wearing them. I can do anything.

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My black heels also empower me. These heels aren’t just any heel – they’ve got a beautiful loud click when you walk on a hardwood floor. There’s something about that click that makes me walk with a bit more confidence. I feel like a model or something. If you’re in a quiet store, you may feel a bit awkward, but I’ve learned not to. As long as you look confident, nobody will question it.

 

Leather Jacket

I got my first leather (pleather) jacket a long time ago. It was a beautiful moment. I was probably in high school still. It was a black leather jacket with a cool splatter effect on the inside. I rocked it with every outfit that I wore.

brown gold leather jacket

Since then, my collection has grown. I now own 7 leather jackets all in different colors so that I can have one for anything I wear. When I wear a leather jacket, it automatically spices up my outfit and I’m fierce. Now pair a leather jacket and one of the shoes from above. OH BOY.

 

A Bold Lip

I actually wear a paler lip on most days – either a pastel pink or a more nude color. It’s just easier for my every day life. When I’m going out for the night or just when I feel like it, however, I throw a bolder, brighter lip color on. These are the days when I actually get the most compliments. A bright lip not only brightens my face up, but my personality because I KNOW I’m pulling it off well. I especially love wearing a bold lip with a black top or jacket to make it pop a little more.

bold lip colors

 

So combine a cool shoe, a leather jacket, and a bold lip and you will have an extra boost of confidence to guide you through the day! Even separately, these all empower me and make me feel like a strong woman, whether I’m at work or just out grocery shopping.

By Melissa Jellie from Individually Chic. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Lazy Girl Gets (Somewhat) Fit

You’re probably reading the title of this post and thinking, “Whaaaat?! Morgan’s in the gym??” 

Yes girl. I’ve actually been in the gym, working out regularly for the past 3 weeks. That may not seem like a big deal to some of you Instagram fit people out there, but that’s an all-time record for me.

When it comes to physical activity, I’m about as lazy as they come. I never had an interest in playing sports growing up. In gym class when we had to do the mile run, I walked. That was back when I could eat as many chicken tenders dipped in ranch as I wanted without gaining a pound.

I’m 25, almost 26, so obviously my metabolism isn’t what it used to be(that’s so cliche but true). I decided it was finally time to stop making excuses and actually get in shape. To be honest, I’m not overweight. Now I know there are people out there who consider anyone who isn’t stick thin overweight and that’s cool, that’s their opinion. But medical-wise I’m not overweight. I’m on the upper end of average and I’m fine with it. My decision to start working out has little to do with the way my body looks and more to do with making me feel better overall and giving me something to do when I’m bored.

Like I mentioned in my last post, my friend Sam was a big influence on me wanting to get into shape. She had her second child last June and started on a fitness journey a little over a month ago to lose the baby weight. She’s been kicking ass and inspired me to do the same. Going to the gym with her helps a lot, because she pushes me to do more than I would do on my own(I told y’all I’m lazy). Plus it’s fun– it’s like we’re hanging out at the mall or Starbucks… but we’re at the gym working out.

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We’ve been working out 3-4 days a week and I’ve been tracking my workouts(heart rate and calories burned) on my Apple Watch. For the workouts I do 20 minutes of cardio on the treadmill, then lift weights for about an hour. One day I do arms, one day legs, and one day full body(and another day full body if I’m able to work out 4 days that week). I also use the MyFitnessPal app to track the calories I intake and my macros. Although I try to consume a certain number of calories a day, I’m not really eating clean. I’ve been watching what I eat somewhat by making healthier choices, but if I’m really craving something I’m still gonna eat it whether it’s healthy or not.

If I end up losing some weight from being more active then I’ll be happy. If I feel healthier and no longer lose my breath from walking a few feet, but don’t lose any weight I’ll be happy too. I’m gonna continue to be happy with my body the way it is, no matter what size I am and no matter what anyone else’s opinion of it is. And I hope you ladies reading this are content with your bodies as well, no matter what shape or size you are. And if you’re not fully content with it, that’s okay too. If you want to make some changes, then do it girl! But don’t let anyone but yourself tell you what to do with your body.

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It’s #SelfLoveSeason Y’all

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Hey loves! It’s March and we’re on the horizon of my favorite seasons, Spring and Summer. I love the warm weather, sunny skies, and bright colors… oh, and my birthday’s in July! Spring and Summer signify happiness, in my opinion.

One of the positives, but also negatives, of this time of year is that everything starts to slllooowww dowwwnnn. The days get longer, school winds down, and for me personally, work slows down as well. This leaves a lot more free time on my hands than usual. As someone whose life pretty much revolves around work and school, it’s easy for me to get bored and start questioning who I am outside of my accomplishments.

This year I’ve decided to dedicate spring and summer to finding new hobbies and activities I enjoy, and getting rid of some of the meaningless, time-wasting activities I participate in way too much. Sooo, I’m dubbing this time of year #SelfLoveSeason.

One of the activities(or should I say addictions) I’ve decided I need to cut wayyy back on is social media. Social media is the biggest waste of time. I start my day by scrolling through all my social media timelines and before I know it an hour or two have passed and I’m still in bed. I’m rarely even talking to anyone(except on twitter… hit me up) and I’m getting absolutely nothing out of what I’m reading/watching 95% of the time. It’s just a way to pass time and be nosey to see what drama is going on in ex-classmates’ lives.

So instead of scrolling aimlessly through my phone all spring and summer, I’ve decided to start doing more meaningful activities that will help me grow as a person, as well as make me more active:

  1. Read more – I’ve started reading a lot more recently. This is gonna come as a shock to any of my friends and family that are reading this, because I’ve honestly hated reading all my life, but I discovered motivational/self-help books and they actually keep my interest. They give me motivation for my day and also teach me things.
  2. Work out – It almost sickens me to write this, because I really enjoy just sitting on my ass, but I started working out again about 2 weeks ago. One of my best friends, Sam(who y’all have seen in some of my vlogs) and I joined a gym and we’ve been working out together 3 days a week. I’ve gotta admit that working out with a friend makes it so much more fun. I actually look forward to going to the gym now!
  3. Find new hobbies – Outside of work and school, I really have no hobbies. I’m going to try different activities to hopefully find some I really enjoy and want to continue. The first on my list to try is a local jewelry making class.

Happy #SelfLoveSeason!!

I Dare You To Be Body Confident

body confident girl
This is a guest post by Nisaa from thedowndeep.com.

Welcome, welcome to the conversation!

I first and foremost want to thank Morgan for featuring me at Her vs. World!

Today, I want to present something to you that might be a little more… edgy and direct than my usual style – we’ll see how it goes.

So in that case, I’ll take a minute to introduce myself:

nisaa

Hi, I go by Nisaa, better known as the founder of a blog called Down Deep.

I’m your average high school liberalist.

My dream schools are NYU, Colombia Uni, U of Miami, and the “Berk.”

I’m slightly more anti-social than people would normally assume by my personality.

I ask lots of questions.

I work like 3 jobs… in school full time, and I’m somehow still breathing.

Down Deep is my favorite thing to do on my free time. That and web surf Instagram feeds.

Oh and one last thing that this article will actually be about–I hate body shaming. Hate it.

With that said, I’m sure you can judge by your observations that I am most definitely dynamic, not at all complex. I’m full of candid dreams and simple requirements – nothing much to see here. But today I kind of want to hone in on the last quirk about me. Especially with the situation of a new leader in town and the presence of one of the most sacred (or simply recognized) months in black history, it’s an important thing to highlight and discuss.

Knowing myself, I am aware that this is an issue that I happen to belabor at an abnormally-constant rate. So. Instead of just writing an 8 page lecture about the importance of body confidence, I’ll make a list of 5 Thoughts I dare you to think regarding body-power and body-recognition. Enjoy!

  1. My body is my own. Not to be shamed, compared with, envied, categorized, represented, nor degraded.

Every women today does not recognize that their body is a paradise. A heaven for the children, a source of pleasure for themselves and for their partners, may they choose to engage with one. Euro-centric beauty standards have become an uncomfortable counter-reflection in the mirrors of colored boys and girls. Thankfully, pop culture is starting to recognize the rainbow true to the spectrum of beauty and acknowledgement.

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  1. My body is a garb of royalty – to be adorned, adored, and acknowledged.

Body empowerment has become such a socio-political topic in media when, with all due respect, it’s my shit to comment on and my shit only. Too thin? Next. Too thick? Try again. And personally, I don’t subscribe to these standards. We women have to take responsibility of clarifying societies place in terms of their say on our bodies. We want to blame media for our lack of empowerment and we have all rights to, but at the same time proactivity is the only method towards progress. Take a stand and be about it!

  1. My body is merely perceived as a perspective; it is crucial to realize that, regarding judgment, what is good is true in my book. And what is bad is… well, propaganda.

Body confidence is all about knowing that you are all you have to offer and being sure that this will always be enough. Taking ownership of your bid to the world is how we can maintain a positive ecosystem rid of body shaming. As cliché as it sounds, the haters are GONNA hate. What else can we do but turn a cheek and tell them to kiss it?

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  1. Blemishes? Imperfections? whAT ERR THOOOOSSEEE?

Flaws are not flaws as much as they are distinctions. While you’ll find me preaching about inner beauty constantly, I will always advocate for conjuring your inner Beyoncé strut and working it in the faces of all those who told you that you couldn’t. Admire the unique assets custom-flaunted by the one and only You.

  1. My body is the business and I am the BOSS, running this enterprise since day 1. As any business does, mine has its quirks, but what business has ever thrived and grown from insecurities?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never met a CEO that didn’t know how to take a compliment. I know I’m sort of belaboring it, but… OWNERSHIP, ACKOWLEDGEMENT, AND CONFIDENCE! Women today have to learn how to remember the women they wanted to be when they were younger… and then BE her with the necessary edits and “glow ups” included. Be a leader for the little girl in you who started believing somewhere along the span of puberty that she wasn’t the shit anymore.

With that said, what are your thoughts on body confidence? Make sure to share them on social media!

P.S. Your “Challenge of the Week” is: Take a bunch of selfies… and actually POST them… EVERYWHERE! #BeBodyConfident

Want to read more from Nisaa? Visit her blog thedowndeep.com and follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

To The Girl Who Feels Insecure In Her Relationship

asian girl holding flowers

All of us have times in which we feel unsure of how someone feels about us… but anyone who has dealt with failed relationship after failed relationship knows that those insecurities can come to stay.

Personally, every guy I dated was never serious about me or our relationship. They either kept the relationship a secret completely, talked(or did whatever) with other girls while we were together, or were just inconsistent. Having multiple people treat me in these ways made me start to believe something was wrong with me… or that I just wasn’t good enough to be loved and appreciated.

Well, I’m here to tell you that is NOT TRUE. Not true for me and not true for you. It doesn’t matter who you are, you’re worth being loved and treated with respect. You just have to believe you deserve it.

I know it’s hard to believe that when you’ve been hurt by multiple people, but just like you don’t become best friends with every single person you meet, you won’t be soulmates with every single person you date.

The thing is though, you can’t keep carrying your insecurities with you in every single relationship you get into. I had to learn this the hard way with my current relationship. My boyfriend is a real trooper for putting up with me in the beginning stages of our relationship(and sometimes still to this day) when I was pretty much punishing him for the way others had treated me. It’s not right to do that to someone who is trying to give you the love and respect you wanted all along.

I realized I was in the wrong, and I tried fixing it by looking up articles to figure out how I could stop feeling so insecure. All of the articles, though, pretty much said the same things: stop overthinking, don’t act out of insecurity, don’t feel paranoid… okay, don’t you think I’m TRYING to do those things?

That’s part of the reason I wanted to write this today. I know from personal experience that it’s impossible to just stop feeling insecure. One of the things that has helped me, though, is to realize that I was insecure because of myself. Not because of my boyfriend. Not because of the dudes who did me dirty. Not because of my friends. I was insecure because I didn’t trust myself and I was putting others up on a pedestal above me(and that’s a no go, because I’m a queen).

When I started to tell myself mentally all of my amazing qualities on a regular basis, I began to actually believe them and in turn believe why everyone in my life loves me so much. It also helped me to stop putting others up on a pedestal. Don’t get me wrong, I like spoiling my man but now instead of being the one that’s giving, giving, giving,  I make sure that my needs are being met as well.

I also use the failed relationships I was in to prove to myself that I will know when something isn’t right and when I should get out. Instead of feeling bad about myself because of how I was treated, those relationships proved I can trust my instincts. So instead of worrying and looking for signs that something may be wrong in my relationship, I can just enjoy it.

I still have moments in which I feel insecure, even being in a happy relationship today, but I think everyone has those moments sometimes. Be compassionate towards yourself in those moments and just remember that you deserve the best even when you’re feeling insecure.