Love

Should You Serve Your Man? 🤔

I saw a tweet retweeted on my timeline multiple times over the past few days that really made me think… as a woman, should you serve your man?

To summarize what the tweet said: the girl tweeted that she serves her man his plates, cleans up after him, washes his clothes, etc. because he’s the man of the family and works hard. She also went on to say that girls today have too much pride and if they’re so independent that they can’t do anything for their man, then they shouldn’t ask him for shit either.

Now, I follow A LOT of different women on Twitter and because of that there were a lot of different reactions to her tweets.

The majority of the moms that I follow completely agreed that you should serve your man. The majority of the women I follow that are entrepreneurs, bloggers, and/or students weren’t having it. They were like, it’s 2017, he’s working, I’m working, we’re equal. Get your own plate.

I actually agree with both sides in a way. I work and go to school and my man does the same. As much as I consider myself a feminist and a strong, independent woman, I still find myself doing the “womanly” duties around the house for the most part. BUT if I’ve had a long day at work or school and I’m tired, I’m not doing anything but relaxing when I get home. I refuse to fix his plate when I’m exhausted and he has two working legs!

Not to be intentionally mean or petty, but we are equals. He works, I work, we both pay bills. So if I’m extra tired then that’s his cue to cater to me. If he’s had a long day and he’s tired/stressed, then that’s my cue to cater to him.

I agree with the tweets in that you should serve your man. If he’s treating you well, then you should do the same in return, and your man should serve you as well. Both people should give to the relationship equally and do what works best for them as a couple.

What do you think?

24 thoughts on “Should You Serve Your Man? 🤔

  1. If you’re a housewife, in which your man is working full time and paying all the bills while you get to stay home, then I can certainly understand catering to him. Also, doing the laundry, dishes, house cleaning, etc. However, it’s not the 50’s anymore, and most households these days rely on two incomes. In a situation like that where both individuals are working and contributing to bills, I feel nobody should be catered to and should instead divide the work up equally. One of my ex bf’s came from a somewhat wealthy family in which his mom got to stay home while his dad was the one who worked. Therefore, he sort of had this attitude that if we were ever to get married, I would have to cook for him and do his laundry, etc. I said, “Even if I have to go work too?” He said yes. Screw that. I’m not a subservient person, so that’s not the kind of thing I would want to do personally.

    1. Girl I’m glad he’s now an ex lmaooo. I agree with you 100%. If you’re a housewife, cooking, cleaning, etc. is pretty much your job. When your man comes home from work tired and stressed, you should take care of him. But for working women, the man should serve the woman just as much as the woman serves him. It should be equal. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

  2. Hey girl! It’s been a while! Came across your post in my email while sitting on a plane with my man headed to OH! So here is my (our) input. John and I are married. We are one. In any relationship, we all like to say “oh I put in 100%!!!” I don’t believe that. I heard this once and it has stuck with me ever since! We both put in together 100%. Therefore it is ALWAYS the 80/20 rule. Some days he has great days (80%) and I have real crappy days (20%), so on that day he picks up my slack and helps when I need it AND COMPLETE VICE VERSA! It truly is always the 80/20 even if we are both in great mood or both in crap moods. There is always one of us being strong when the other may not be and not in a bad way, just being supportive in everyday needs! GREAT post! I love little reminders like this to always keep me in check and be sure to be the 80 i need to be that day OR to remind myself it’s okay to be a 20 today. Not everyday but it is okay.

    1. Hey girl!! Glad to hear from you again! That’s a good point about the 80/20 rule. I’ve always heard people say both people in the relationship should always give 100%, but what you said is true.. some days are gonna be better for one person than the other, and each person in the relationship will have times when they have to pick up slack for the other. Thanks for reading and commenting! Hope yall have a safe trip!

  3. As a Stay at home mom, I do serve my man and make his plate and do the dishes laundry cooking and more. But, he does the same for me. There are days I don’t feel like doing things or life happens and I’m behind on things and typically he’ll pick up on my frustration and do the cleaning laundry or whatever I haven’t with out me even asking or mentioning. I feel like if your significant other is really your life partner you’ll want to do for them. It’s not about being a made or lazy or anything like that. We do for each other all the time. Love this post. I saw this tweet too and saw people said that you’re a maid if you cater to your man. But when men don’t do for these same people they’re upset. Relationships are a two way Street. You have to both do for each other for it to work out !

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting girl! And yeah, you’re def not a maid for catering to your man, under any circumstances. That’s what relationships are about. You can’t expect to have a successful relationship, if you don’t do ANYTHING for your partner. Like I mentioned in the post, I work and go to school and I still cater to my man and he does the same for me. I agree with you 100%, both partners have to put in the work.

  4. Love this post and the comments and I totally agree that there should that balance of serving each other rather than just the man but it really just boil down to cultural beliefs. Coming from an African family, many of the older women and men still have that “women should serve in the household” mentality whilst the younger generation (most of us were born or grew up here in the UK) are more forward-thinking much to their dismay.

    1. Thanks so much!! It seems like a lot of older people in general, despite their culture, seem to believe women should still serve in the household. I’m glad younger generations are seeing gender roles around the house and workplace as more equal nowadays. Thanks for your input!

  5. I agree with you 100%. Both partners should step up and do things for each other when needed. Thanks for reading and leaving your input!

  6. You both give 100%. A relationship is built on respect and serving each other, however that works for you as a couple. I’m a SAHM, so I do the majority of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, childcare, etc. But if he’s home, he does a share too! If we didn’t both give as much as we had, our marriage wouldn’t work.

  7. This was a really interesting take on the wife/husband dynamic! I totally agree, I work only a few hours a week and my partner works full time! I think my biggest struggle isn’t not getting recognition from him for what I do but when he expects it when he does the occasional thing around the house! Daily duties are all me but when it comes to DIY or decorating or moving something heavy that’s all him! I think he doesn’t quite understand that taking care of a home/family doesn’t stop when the working day does! 😴

    1. I definitely feel you on that! My boyfriend does a load of dishes and thinks he’s cleaned the whole house lol. And you’re right, house/family duties are a 24/7 thing.

  8. I completely agree with you. My husband and I have shared ups and downs, me being unemployed, him being unemployed, having twins at home with no extra money for daycare, etc. We’ve both made sacrifices for each other, we’ve both worked hard to get our degrees and we both can get a bit frustrated when either one of us is not currently using those said degrees… but being there for each other and helping each other out on their good days and bad days is what good couples DO! Being equal and picking up the slack for the other is definitely an act of love and respect.
    Love this post 😉

  9. Dynamics are always going too be different depending on your background and culture. My husband is Hispanic, so that meant me learning to serve him…. in front of his family anyway lol. He didn’t tell me I had too, but its something that was obvious and I picked up. Majority of the time I do it at home as well. I think our roles are different, he doesn’t work all day like I do.. he is home by like 2. Soooo he picks up both my kids and does laundry (but I taught him how to do laundry). Our roles change… depending on the day… If that makes sense.

    1. That does make sense. That’s how it is with my boyfriend and I… some days he may do more for me, because he’s off work and I’m not and/or I’m tired. Some days I do more for him, because he’s been at work and I’m off.

  10. I do everything in the house because I’m a stay at home mom. I do get that people say it’s old fashioned or whatever so I kinda agree with both sides too. But to be fair, he does work hard and deserves it and what I like about him is that he helps me cook and will often serve himself anyway. The least I can do is his laundry and cooking for him lol. Doesn’t make a difference when we both help each other out.

    1. I definitely understand you doing more around the house for him since you’re a stay at home mom. Nothing old fashioned about it if that’s what works for y’all! I definitely find myself doing more around the house than my boyfriend does even though we both work because he works 10 hour days everyday, while my hours vary day to day so I’m home more in general. He still picks up the slack when he’s home though, so it ends up being equal.

  11. Well, first of all, I don’t think there’s anything mean or petty about saying you’re equals. What would it say about you if being your equal was insulting to him? Secondly, I don’t think of it as serving, I think of it as mutual respect and assistance. I cook dinner and I’ll bring him a plate sometimes because he works 50+ hours a week and his feet are killing him, but I’m not about to pretend to be his pretty little slave. He helps me, and I help him, and that’s the way a healthy relationship should be.

    1. I agree 100%. He has two arms and legs so he’s capable of taking care of himself. My boyfriend and I do the same… if he’s had a long day, I’ll do more for him. If I’ve had a long day, he’ll do more for me. Helping each other is definitely the way a healthy relationship should be.

    1. Exactly!! It’s 2017, not 1917. Everybody does everything now, no matter your gender. The man should serve the woman just as much as the woman serves the man.

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