Month: February 2017

Teamwork Makes The Dream Work

Boyfriend carrying girlfriend
This is a guest post by Samantha from Doing Life With You.

There is no ‘I’ in team! How many times have you heard that in your life? It’s heard when playing sports, our place of work, and guess what…you’ll hear it related to relationships too! Relationships are ALL about teamwork and I am a firm believer in this!

 

As you begin to spend the rest of your lives learning about one another, you grow to be that team. The unbreakable bond between one another makes the ultimate best friends…#RelationshipGoals, am I right?

What’s unique, is being strong for your team. You come to learn that being strong is about taking turns. There will be moments of weakness, but this is when you see true teamwork of you and your best friend being strong FOR EACH OTHER.

You are a team because you trust one another, you care for one another, and your respect one another. Teamwork is support, commitment, and encouragement. The list can truly go on, but think about this.

When you’re in a relationship, you never brag about yourself being so amazing and so great “I this or I that” (1. you would sound ridiculous and 2. You would be self-centered and probably not in a relationship). Instead, you are always showing and telling about how amazing and great your other is, that’s how your inspire your team.

Here are some great ways to drive your team to greatness #TeamLove

  1. Love them in all of their forms
  2. Support each other through everything
  3. Keep each other motivated
  4. Do not fight AT each other, fight FOR each other
  5. Sacrifice for one another, this is inevitable if you love each other!
  6. Stay open and honest with each other, ALWAYS, communication is key
  7. Every single day, try and learn something new about them (every day may be hard for some, so strive for once a week) and be sure to tell them what you’ve learned!
  8. Love their flaws… they are flaws, BUT you will learn to grow and love them whether you like it or not
  9. Commit to one another, take the leap and truly put your whole faith with them
  10. Respect each other on every level that there possibly is for respecting

Now, don’t get me wrong. There will be blow ups in any relationship and NO the world is NOT made of sunshine and rainbows…THIS IS NORMAL PEOPLE. We are meant to crumble at times, but again…that’s why in a relationship we grow this bond!

You honestly may not even know that bond is happening, but you’ll get so excited about something and the first person you want to tell is your significant other! You are upset or have bad news, you tell them. You are mad and need to vent, you do it with them. You are growing that team bond every time you are with your person.

Embrace loving your best friend because it is truly the best feeling in the world to know you have them and to know you do it all together, as one.

As my fiance and I say… “it’s you and I against the world!” Go, fight, and conquer together!

Guest post by Samantha from Doing Life With You. Check out more of her writing on her blog and follow her on social media: PinterestInstagramTwitterFacebook

I Dare You To Be Body Confident

body confident girl
This is a guest post by Nisaa from thedowndeep.com.

Welcome, welcome to the conversation!

I first and foremost want to thank Morgan for featuring me at Her vs. World!

Today, I want to present something to you that might be a little more… edgy and direct than my usual style – we’ll see how it goes.

So in that case, I’ll take a minute to introduce myself:

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Hi, I go by Nisaa, better known as the founder of a blog called Down Deep.

I’m your average high school liberalist.

My dream schools are NYU, Colombia Uni, U of Miami, and the “Berk.”

I’m slightly more anti-social than people would normally assume by my personality.

I ask lots of questions.

I work like 3 jobs… in school full time, and I’m somehow still breathing.

Down Deep is my favorite thing to do on my free time. That and web surf Instagram feeds.

Oh and one last thing that this article will actually be about–I hate body shaming. Hate it.

With that said, I’m sure you can judge by your observations that I am most definitely dynamic, not at all complex. I’m full of candid dreams and simple requirements – nothing much to see here. But today I kind of want to hone in on the last quirk about me. Especially with the situation of a new leader in town and the presence of one of the most sacred (or simply recognized) months in black history, it’s an important thing to highlight and discuss.

Knowing myself, I am aware that this is an issue that I happen to belabor at an abnormally-constant rate. So. Instead of just writing an 8 page lecture about the importance of body confidence, I’ll make a list of 5 Thoughts I dare you to think regarding body-power and body-recognition. Enjoy!

  1. My body is my own. Not to be shamed, compared with, envied, categorized, represented, nor degraded.

Every women today does not recognize that their body is a paradise. A heaven for the children, a source of pleasure for themselves and for their partners, may they choose to engage with one. Euro-centric beauty standards have become an uncomfortable counter-reflection in the mirrors of colored boys and girls. Thankfully, pop culture is starting to recognize the rainbow true to the spectrum of beauty and acknowledgement.

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  1. My body is a garb of royalty – to be adorned, adored, and acknowledged.

Body empowerment has become such a socio-political topic in media when, with all due respect, it’s my shit to comment on and my shit only. Too thin? Next. Too thick? Try again. And personally, I don’t subscribe to these standards. We women have to take responsibility of clarifying societies place in terms of their say on our bodies. We want to blame media for our lack of empowerment and we have all rights to, but at the same time proactivity is the only method towards progress. Take a stand and be about it!

  1. My body is merely perceived as a perspective; it is crucial to realize that, regarding judgment, what is good is true in my book. And what is bad is… well, propaganda.

Body confidence is all about knowing that you are all you have to offer and being sure that this will always be enough. Taking ownership of your bid to the world is how we can maintain a positive ecosystem rid of body shaming. As cliché as it sounds, the haters are GONNA hate. What else can we do but turn a cheek and tell them to kiss it?

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  1. Blemishes? Imperfections? whAT ERR THOOOOSSEEE?

Flaws are not flaws as much as they are distinctions. While you’ll find me preaching about inner beauty constantly, I will always advocate for conjuring your inner Beyoncé strut and working it in the faces of all those who told you that you couldn’t. Admire the unique assets custom-flaunted by the one and only You.

  1. My body is the business and I am the BOSS, running this enterprise since day 1. As any business does, mine has its quirks, but what business has ever thrived and grown from insecurities?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never met a CEO that didn’t know how to take a compliment. I know I’m sort of belaboring it, but… OWNERSHIP, ACKOWLEDGEMENT, AND CONFIDENCE! Women today have to learn how to remember the women they wanted to be when they were younger… and then BE her with the necessary edits and “glow ups” included. Be a leader for the little girl in you who started believing somewhere along the span of puberty that she wasn’t the shit anymore.

With that said, what are your thoughts on body confidence? Make sure to share them on social media!

P.S. Your “Challenge of the Week” is: Take a bunch of selfies… and actually POST them… EVERYWHERE! #BeBodyConfident

Want to read more from Nisaa? Visit her blog thedowndeep.com and follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

To The Girl Who Feels Insecure In Her Relationship

asian girl holding flowers

All of us have times in which we feel unsure of how someone feels about us… but anyone who has dealt with failed relationship after failed relationship knows that those insecurities can come to stay.

Personally, every guy I dated was never serious about me or our relationship. They either kept the relationship a secret completely, talked(or did whatever) with other girls while we were together, or were just inconsistent. Having multiple people treat me in these ways made me start to believe something was wrong with me… or that I just wasn’t good enough to be loved and appreciated.

Well, I’m here to tell you that is NOT TRUE. Not true for me and not true for you. It doesn’t matter who you are, you’re worth being loved and treated with respect. You just have to believe you deserve it.

I know it’s hard to believe that when you’ve been hurt by multiple people, but just like you don’t become best friends with every single person you meet, you won’t be soulmates with every single person you date.

The thing is though, you can’t keep carrying your insecurities with you in every single relationship you get into. I had to learn this the hard way with my current relationship. My boyfriend is a real trooper for putting up with me in the beginning stages of our relationship(and sometimes still to this day) when I was pretty much punishing him for the way others had treated me. It’s not right to do that to someone who is trying to give you the love and respect you wanted all along.

I realized I was in the wrong, and I tried fixing it by looking up articles to figure out how I could stop feeling so insecure. All of the articles, though, pretty much said the same things: stop overthinking, don’t act out of insecurity, don’t feel paranoid… okay, don’t you think I’m TRYING to do those things?

That’s part of the reason I wanted to write this today. I know from personal experience that it’s impossible to just stop feeling insecure. One of the things that has helped me, though, is to realize that I was insecure because of myself. Not because of my boyfriend. Not because of the dudes who did me dirty. Not because of my friends. I was insecure because I didn’t trust myself and I was putting others up on a pedestal above me(and that’s a no go, because I’m a queen).

When I started to tell myself mentally all of my amazing qualities on a regular basis, I began to actually believe them and in turn believe why everyone in my life loves me so much. It also helped me to stop putting others up on a pedestal. Don’t get me wrong, I like spoiling my man but now instead of being the one that’s giving, giving, giving,  I make sure that my needs are being met as well.

I also use the failed relationships I was in to prove to myself that I will know when something isn’t right and when I should get out. Instead of feeling bad about myself because of how I was treated, those relationships proved I can trust my instincts. So instead of worrying and looking for signs that something may be wrong in my relationship, I can just enjoy it.

I still have moments in which I feel insecure, even being in a happy relationship today, but I think everyone has those moments sometimes. Be compassionate towards yourself in those moments and just remember that you deserve the best even when you’re feeling insecure.